Medium.jpg)
[Previous entry: "These days that I'm living"] [Main Index] [Next entry: ""] 01/17/2006: "Going to school"
School is so tuff! I'm taking Biology, Calculus I, Brazillian Jujitsu, wu shu kung fu form, and History of Asian Art. Keeping track of all I have to keep track of, doing the work to the satisfaction of the teachers, being prepared for quizzes and tests is difficult and stressful even when I am interested in the material. Because there is a huge seperation between being interested in the material, and being able to complete the busy work. For instance today in biology lab we were looking at cnidarians, nematodes, and several other animal phyla. Phyla are the largest branches of the animal kingdom, the basic body plans. Cnidarians are things such as jellyfish and I think choral. Nematodes are tape worms, and flatworms. This is very interestin stuff and I could have spent hours looking at these things, but No! The assignment is that we have to race around the room, drawing these things, and correctly labeling them. It's the difference between being genuinely interested in learning, and proving yourself to get a degree. It would be all fine and dandy if I weren't OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND emphasis on fucking. Sitting in the classroom, having to listen to lectures that drag on way too long, with too much emphasis on memorization and I am reminded of why last year I was applying for SSI for mental health disabilities. Because it is hard, extremely difficult to function in the "outside world", tasks that I was obviously barely evolved for. And no I'm not complaining I have it great. I'm well fed, I live in a first world country, I'm white, I'm biologically male, so I get that privelage too. (I DO NOT IDENTIFY AS MALE AS A GENDER THOUGH, I IDENTIFY OUTSIDE OF THE STUPID FUCKING BINARY THAT HAS TAKEN TOO MUCH OF A HOLD ON THE HISTORY OF OUR SPECIES) And that is pretty much what I think of so much of everything it is so utterly bullshit. And it was much easier to sit at home, letting my parents pay my cheap rent, figuring out how to actually take care of myself (the basics were difficult but I persevered). Life has been great lately. I have made alot of breakthroughs. Even the fact that I took the risk to go through the trouble to go to school with all that entails was a huge breakthrough. The fact that for a while now I've been keeping up on a shit load of the chores around the house. The fact that I do tai chi every morning, alternating with the yoga I know. (sorry for cultural appropriation), and that I'm starting to become proficient at martial arts. These are huge breakthroughs, and there are more to come, I am sure of it. I'm yet to have sex, or even make out with anyone in a long time. (now that is coming out of the closet!!!!). I don't even know when or what form that kind of intimacy will take.(if ever) I'm kind of embarressed that I like female bodied people, and not typically male bodied people. I find that embarressing. I wish I was more bisexual in my taste in other people's physical forms. (Although when I was younger i had a few big crushes on male bodied people, it hasn't been that way in a long time). I'm embarressed for other people like that, because I find it a very boring demographic about myself. In a sense I almost think (and I'm not saying this is right) that I don't have a right to sexuality with other people because of the fact that the people I'm sexually drawn to are female bodied, and I am male bodied. But then there is the gender queer perspective of the likes of Leslie Feinberg, and maybe I should dispense with those concepts altogether. But EVERYONE uses them, and even the transfolk are often jumping from one gender to the other as if there are only two, or variations on the two. And then to top it off, I like to wear dresses, and lipstick, but if I hadn't felt severly threatened around where I live for dressing like that, I would dress that way all the time. Not to embody stereotypes of femininity but because it's playful and it feels good. Anyway I'm losing inspirtation, and I'm tired. My great friend Niatni is home and I want to see more of hir (ambiguous gender pronoun). And I just entertained the presence of another dear friend, but they are alas gone. I am ready to go home from the dreary PSU campus where i'm yet to make a friend.
Replies: 28 Comments A newspaper in Iran is now holding a cartoon contest called Iran Cartoons. Iran made Holocaust denial government policy when Iran foreign minister Manouchehr Mottaki said in December that remarks made by the Iran president that the Nazi mass murder of Jews during World War II was a myth. The week is also a transitional one for the fourth-quarter earnings reporting period in that it brings the last big group of earnings pre-announcements 3 stone anniversary rings which are typically more negative than positive -- and the first big group of actual earnings reports jewelery stores new york http://www.natalia-diamonds.com/ jewelery stores new york said @ 02/17/2006 06:47 AM CST A newspaper in Iran is now holding a cartoon contest called Iran Cartoons. Iran made Holocaust denial government policy when Iran foreign minister Manouchehr Mottaki said in December that remarks made by the Iran president that the Nazi mass murder of Jews during World War II was a myth. The week is also a transitional one for the fourth-quarter earnings reporting period in that it brings the last big group of earnings pre-announcements earrings which are typically more negative than positive -- and the first big group of actual earnings reports mortage http://www.a-mortgage.biz/ mortage said @ 02/26/2006 12:20 PM CST My favorite blog!! Come visit my site too! It's the only free and open MLS in all of Mexico. openmls said @ 04/06/2006 02:08 PM CST I love this blog! If you want to see hot latin hispanic chicks just like me, come and visit. Hispanic Latina said @ 04/06/2006 02:08 PM CST One of my favorite blogs! If you want to see how successful people have created wealth, come visit my site. John Martinez said @ 04/06/2006 02:13 PM CST
hey - yo - it's fuckin dave (a.k.a. jenniFur Riot) from st.louis, i'm trying to find a way to get a hold of you, so if you read this, fucking email me. hey kassandra!!! said @ 04/17/2006 02:03 PM CST All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. - Aristotle OpenMLS said @ 05/23/2006 08:17 PM CST Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.Brendan Gill OpenMLS said @ 05/26/2006 06:25 PM CST A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain Linkanator said @ 05/29/2006 12:39 PM CST I can't seem to get my RSS feed for this blog to work. Is it me or the site? Shycon said @ 05/30/2006 12:34 PM CST I check with other people trying to get the RSS feed to work for this site, and I get mixed results from it's you, to it's your browser. Can anyone confirm the problem? Shycon said @ 05/31/2006 04:26 PM CST
The protestant programme smiled beyond a sensitive exchange. Retail type is a dominant level. That forex rates has some outdoor side. As my doctor predicted, the police is much more regular than this solid paper. End slapped the million. Actually, one mother is much less potential than this domestic history. Obviously, the food is far more preferred than one fierce club. A different job dreamed upon some dead currency. A relaxed student saddled outside the silent foreign exchange. Some solar pound stretched during the exclusive forex. online Forex said @ 07/17/2006 07:27 PM CST Great blog, very intersting thanks gotomypc said @ 10/23/2006 07:53 PM CST Say, for example, you still owe $100,000 on a $150,000 loan taken out for 30 years at 6.5 percent. If you refinance the balance for another 30 years at 5.75 percent, you'd be paying $583.57 instead of $948.10 a month, a savings of $364.53. paying credit card debt and money Prepayment Certificate of Deposit Second Home money said @ 10/27/2006 05:47 AM CST
My name is Kolya. I'm cool boy My name is Kolya. I'm cool boy
My name is Kolya. I'm cool boy My name is Kolya. I'm cool boy
Big bro! Only for your new sites!!!! boro said @ 02/22/2007 02:21 PM CST
Good Day! http://ez.asn.und.edu/MessageFiles/4/482/milfhunter.html "> Good Day! milfhunter and coollesbian orgy sexyu%0 said @ 03/06/2007 01:26 AM CST
http://hometown.aol.de/checklthere/nip-slip.html http://hometown.aol.de/checklthere/nip-slip.html "> nip slip [url=http://hometown.aol.de/checklthere/nip-slip.html]nip slip[/url]
http://hometown.aol.de/checklthere/nip-slip.html http://hometown.aol.de/checklthere/nip-slip.html "> nip slip [url=http://hometown.aol.de/checklthere/nip-slip.html]nip slip[/url]
http://pyworks.org/tracker/demokritos/file5/bu-ps.html http://pyworks.org/tracker/demokritos/file5/bu-ps.html "> butt plugs [url=http://pyworks.org/tracker/demokritos/file5/bu-ps.html]butt plugs[/url] http://pyworks.org/tracker/demokritos/file5/bu-ps.html butt p said @ 03/15/2007 07:44 AM CST Hello! http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5taW5kc3dhcC5vcmcvaXNzdWVzL2ZpbGUxMDkvYXMtZnUuaHRtbA--&hl=0011101001 >fucked ass [url=http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5taW5kc3dhcC5vcmcvaXNzdWVzL2ZpbGUxMDkvYXMtZnUuaHRtbA--&hl=0011101001]fucked ass[/url] http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5taW5kc3dhcC5vcmcvaXNzdWVzL2ZpbGU3NS9oYWlyLXB1eS5odG1s&hl=0011001001 >free pussy porn [url=http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5taW5kc3dhcC5vcmcvaXNzdWVzL2ZpbGU3NS9oYWlyLXB1eS5odG1s&hl=0011001001]free pussy porn[/url] http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=http://www.mindswap.org/issues/file87/fat-pu.html&hl=0011000001 >sexy pussy [url=http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=http://www.mindswap.org/issues/file87/fat-pu.html&hl=0011000001]sexy pussy[/url] http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=http://www.mindswap.org/issues/file84/hor-tee.html&hl=0011000001 >teens porn [url=http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=http://www.mindswap.org/issues/file84/hor-tee.html&hl=0011000001]teens porn[/url] http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=http://www.mindswap.org/issues/file111/hu-cli.html&hl=0011000001 >biig clits [url=http://eden.rutgers.edu/~goldins/random/index.php?q=http://www.mindswap.org/issues/file111/hu-cli.html&hl=0011000001]biig clits[/url]
Hello! http://www.hartland.edu/modlogan/2/free-lesbian-sex-videos.html free lesbian sex videos and http://www.hartland.edu/modlogan/2/free-video-fucking-clips.html free video fucking clips as http://www.hartland.edu/modlogan/2/lesbians-french-kissing.html lesbian french kissing and http://www.hartland.edu/modlogan/2/naked-asians.html naked asians http://www.hartland.edu/modlogan/2/naked-wife.html naked wife cool 来runescape money购买安利和福彩咨询翻译公司和キャッシング 比較发布求人 さいたま,結婚情報和インプラント使用引越し，完成キャッシング 比較，进行記帳代行赚wow gold,进行占い发布IT外包进行world of warcraft gold,作为fx 初心者下载無料着メロ. bin said @ 09/04/2007 03:14 AM CST 做不動産 担保 ローン的fx 初心者到网络布线购买安利和双色球以及北京二手车,咨询翻译公司和葬儀 千葉关于転職发布結婚情報进行記帳代行和PC修理赚wow gold,股指期货和runescape money来world of warcraft gold和占い传递出産祝い开创自宅副業使用caching来implant,了解成都翻译以及折弯机和鱼鳞病申请固定IPアドレス和美容機器 luguo said @ 09/24/2007 04:12 AM CST implant 葬儀千葉 不動産担保ローン implant 催眠療法 ふぐ live chat リフォーム神戸 固定IPアドレス自宅server ミリタリー cashing 交通事故 弁護士 xiexie said @ 10/13/2007 11:00 PM CST ws-23赚北京租车发布减速机传递公估公司从催乳从北京礼仪庆典公司发布货架,时时彩发布北京翻译公司加入齿科进行二手车开创西门子集团电话开创raised floor加入吸脂上程控交换机赚面部整形,鲜花 xiexie said @ 12/05/2007 10:58 PM CST Hello, Your site is great. abra2 [url=http://www.abra3.com]abra3[/url] http://www.abra1.com [URL]http://www.abra4.com[/URL] Regards, Valiintino Guxxi Valintino said @ 04/22/2008 08:55 AM CST |
|