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07/02/2005: "My thoughts today"

I really want to write fiction, but for now, I'll have to just add journal entries. Life is weird. I was just exploring wikipedia, the internet encyclopedia. I live at a house about 10 blocks from this library. I love the seclusion of escaping. And just learning about things intellectually. The house I live at is a tumult of experiences. So if I want to be social, it's not hard to do. There are lots of interesting characters to play with. Nirvana, Dave, Miriam, Tamara, Grant (all though he is never around). But for right now, I wonder off to the library. I don't forsee myself having a job anytime in the near future, and so this is the kind of thing I enjoy. That or figuring out the size of the solar system for the globe. One of the people I see once in a while, said that I'd ruin my brain with all that stuff. Well maybe, if my brain isn't already ruined. Or not ruined, but warped from living in such a strange time period. Besides I don't have romantic relationships, I live in a very cerebral, sometimes isolated world, and I have to cherish the experiences I get to have, and not spend the whole time period of my existance feeling sorry for myself. So yeah, I had ten minutes to write a journal entry. This morning I did some yoga (culturally appropriated of course), it releases alot from my body, allows to me to change the way I function in the world, perhaps less closed off, and tense. More engaged to my surroundings and the people in them. For me learning to take care of myself, to do chores, to be engaged to have these sorts of routines has been an epic adventure, of the most fearsome proportions, and in many ways I have triumphed. And am continuing to learn. This life is not long, and then I will be eaten by bacteria, and insects, and maybe even scavengers (hopefully). And the life of this planet isn't that long geologically. Before long complex life will die, and the last bacteria will be roasted under the intense heat and energy of the sun gone red giant. But for the moment I am here.

Maybe tomorrow I will write a review of the movie THE HAUNTING based on the shirley jackson novel of the same namesake.